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Revision as of 18:54, 9 March 2021
You sit down with the director, Sam Raimi, to ask him a few questions about the movie.
Raimi: I'm not sure how much you know about the Spider-Man franchise, but this one was actually my idea! When I read the script, I thought it had potential.
> You say "Sam, why is Jennifer Lawrence a superhero in this film?"
Raimi: Well, she's pretty damn hot and I figured if there was going to be a female lead in the movie, it should be someone who could kick ass.
> You say "But she is a real person, why not have her play a fictional Marvel character? Why is she herself?"
Raimi: This is a Spider-Man movie, not an X-Men movie. I don't want it to be overpopulated with superheroes who aren't the star.
> You say "What is the meaning of the scene with Norman?"
Raimi: There actually is no meaning. Willem just really likes yelling random shit. It's one of his favorite pastimes.
> You say "Do you know who Vidic is?"
Raimi: Of course I do, he's the main antagonist in all of the "Assassin's Creed" games. He also turns into a dragon.
> You say "So why is Willem talking about a character from a video game?"
Raimi: It's the credits, it doesn't have to make any sense.
> You say "Some critics are questioning the decision to have Spider-Man walk away from the bad guys at the climax of the film."
Raimi: I thought it was important to show Spider-Man as a benevolent hero. He doesn't kill his enemies, even when it would be in his best interest.
> You say "But, he does nothing to even try and capture them for the police. He lets them get away."
Raimi: He probably figured that they would get killed by the gas.
You don't say anything.
> You say "The gas was normal air..."
Raimi: Oh... uh... well I guess it shows that Spidey is still a hero, because he still stops the villains, even if indirectly.
> You say "Let's just move on. Can I ask you a few questions about Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness?"
Raimi: Sure, why the hell not?
> You say "How has it been working on your first MCU film? How are Benedict and Olsen to work with?"
Raimi: It's been great! They're huge stars and it's a little surreal, but they're really down-to-earth people who are very easy to work with.
> You say "Can you confirm whether it will have any connections to WandaVision?"
Raimi: I can confirm that it will have no connections to any other Marvel shows or movies. This one is going to stand on its own.
The questions and answers continue on for a while.
> You say "But, isn't Wanda Maximoff appearing in this film?"
Raimi: Yes, we're saddling up to the fourth wall again. Wanda will be played by Elizabeth Olsen, who is also playing her in the next "Avengers" film.
> You say "I am confused. How will it have no connections if the star of WandaVision will be appearing?"
Raimi: Because the Wanda in this film is from a different universe.
> You say "Holy shit. "
Raimi: Yeah, we're getting crazy with this one.
The door to the room opens and a shady-looking man with a goatee walks in.
> You recognize the man as Benedict Cumberbatch, in full Doctor Strange costume.
Cumberbatch: Hello, it is I, the Sorcerer Supreme!
Raimi: Hey Ben. Did you know that the word "doctor" comes from the Latin word "doctor", which means "teacher"?
> You say "Um... what is going on here?"
Cumberbatch: Well, I am here to help Sam with his film.
> You say "But why are you dressed as Strange?"
Cumberbatch: I have got the part.
Raimi: This film has an eight-hundred million dollar budget. We can easily get Ben to portray the lead role.
> You say "800 million? How the fuck does it have that much budget?"
Raimi: The Disney corporation is the largest, richest company in the world. Have you not heard of it? It also owns Miramax Films and ABC. We got a lot of money to create this film.
> You say "Okay, so this is a multiverse film. Will we see the return of a certain silver haired individual (a.k.a. Ralph Bohner?)"
Raimi: I don't think so, at least not directly.
> You say "Does that mean we will never see Evan Peters again in the MCU?"
Raimi: No, we will definitely see him again, don't worry about that.
Raimi looks at his watch and then turns to address you and Ben.
Raimi: Listen, guys. It's getting late and we got an early start tomorrow. We should wrap this up.
Cumberbatch: Good idea, mate. I'm bushed.
> You say "One more question! Do you know anything about Tobey Maguire's rumored appearance in Spider-Man: No Way Home?"
Raimi: I honestly haven't heard anything about it.
Cumberbatch: I haven't either.
Raimi: Anyway, thanks for taking the time to do this, guys.
> You decide you are not letting anyone leave until they spill the beans about Tobey.
Cumberbatch: Yeah, I have to be up at five.
Raimi: Yeah, I have to... go... somewhere... anyway.
Cumberbatch: I have to... go... somewhere...
> You block the doorway.
Raimi: Um...
Cumberbatch: Um...
You: Tell me about Spider-Man, Raimi. Tell me everything you know about it, or I'll call the police.
Raimi: Okay, okay! Jesus fucking christ, woman.
Raimi: I'll tell you on one condition. You stop harassing me and Ben.
You: Fine.
> You say "So how about it? Tell me about Tobey's involvement in No Way Home."
Raimi: Alright, alright, fine. Here it is. There are some rumors about Maguire's involvement in the film. Maguire was reportedly spotted in London, where the film is set. He was said to be hanging out with his friend and costar, Dunst.
You: Interesting.
> You say "That's all you know? Are you serious?"
Raimi: That's all I know, I swear to fucking God. And you better fucking believe I'm serious.
You: Okay then, fine. You may leave now.
Raimi: Good.
> You say "One quick thing, I need you to convince Jon Watts to call me."
Raimi: Sure. I can do that.
You: Thanks.
> You wait for Watts to call you.
After about two months of waiting, you get a call from Jon Watts.
Watts: Hello?
You: Hello, is this Jon?
Watts: Yeah, who's this?
"My name is Julia, I'm a friend of Sam Raimi. I need to talk to you. It's about No Way Home."
Watts: Why would I talk to you about it if Sam didn't tell me to?
You: Because I know something about the film that he doesn't.
Watts: What?
> You say "I know about Tobey Maguire's involvement."
Watts: Tobey Maguire?
You: Yes.
Watts: The rumors are true then.
You: What rumors?
Watts: That he's fucking Dunst.
You: What?!
Watts: Oh yeah, the two have been fucking for quite some time. It started during the filming of Spider-Man 1.
> You say "Uh... I was more talking about him being in No Way Home."
Watts: What?
You: I was saying that I was telling you about Maguire being in No Way Home.
Watts: What the hell are you on about?
> You say "You know! How Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire will reprise their roles as Peter Parker in the new film?"
Watts: You're talking about The Spectacular Spider-Man.
You: No, I'm talking about the upcoming Spider-Man film that's being made by Sony and Marvel Studios.
Watts: There's no such film in production.
You: What? It was announced last year.
Watts: I think you need to calm down and lay off the drugs.
> You say "There's a trailer on YouTube. Tom Holland has already publicly talked about the film."
Watts: I think you need to stop wasting my time and take your conspiracy theories elsewhere.
You: But...
Watts: Goodbye.
You: Mr. Watts, wait!
> You say "I know about the DoorDash driver."
Watts: Oh, fuck!
"How do you explain Andrew Garfield being seen by a delivery driver in Atlanta, the same place No Way Home is being filmed?"
Watt: ...
You: How do you explain why you erased the delivery driver's memory?
Watts: How the hell... I mean, I don't...
> You say "WHY ARE YOU COVERING UP THIS SECRET, JUST CONFIRM IT!"
Watts: Okay, okay! Christ, I didn't want to get into this...
Watts: We are covering up the truth alright? The DoorDash driver was paid off to forget about the incident.
> You say "And?"
Watts: And what?
You: And that's it? You're just gonna continue the cover up?
Watts: Yes. That's it.
> You say "So it's true. Garfield and Maguire are in the film."
Watts: Fuck, I can't stand this...
Watts: Yes. They are in the film.
"So it's a multiverse crossover, similar to the Spider-Verse?"
Watts: Yes. The multiverse theory is correct.
You: I figured as much.
Watts: Now, you need to leave me alone.
> You log onto Reddit and decide to post about the shocking confirmation.
"Just got off the phone with Jon fucking Watts. He spilled the fucking beans."
The post gets a lot of up votes, and people begin to believe you.
> You read the top comment.
"Oh my god, he's not bullshitting us?"
"I don't think he is. He has a reputation of posting legitimate shit on this subreddit."
"I'm actually excited now."
> You reply with "Tobey fucking Maguire is going to be in a new Spider-Man movie. You're welcome."
The post gets the most up votes, and you settle in to read all the comments.
Over the next few months, you experience a roller coaster of joy and angst as the Reddit community reacts to the leaked information.
To your surprise, the movie is actually very well received by both fans and critics.
It does, indeed, feature both Maguire and Garfield as the respective Spider-Men from their respective universes.
It's an amazing experience, seeing the two characters interact with each other.
When Tom Holland's Spider-Man appears along side them, the excitement almost knocks you off your chair.
It's the best of both worlds.
Unbelievably, you see Evan Peters appear on the screen. It is Ralph Bohner.
You can't believe it. It's actually him! Truth be told, you actually didn't think he would show up in the movie.
> You wonder if they are about to reveal that he is the Fox version of Quicksivler.
The scene comes right before the final battle between the three Spider-Men and the Green Goblin.
And, wouldn't you know it, Maguire's Spider-Man gets bit in the leg by the goblin's fearsome abomination.
Ralph is revealed to be the one who bit Maguire's Spider-Man.
You are fucking thrilled.
The final scene shows the three Spider-Men doing their signature poses before launching into the air and off into the horizon.