Planet Eilaela Retold (story): Difference between revisions

Planet Eilaela Retold (story) (view source)

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 === Chapter 1 ===
-''Whack.'' Once again, Raven hit the training dummy with enough force that a real enemy would have hit the opposite wall. She was only fifteen years old, yet the fierce combat training required of her made her stronger than many twice her age. For years, she would spend her days at school, and her nights on the training grounds. She wanted nothing more than to be a famed Sol Guardian, like her idol Blaze the Cat. How could she ever rest if she wanted any chance of being like her?
+Raven's fists pounded against the training dummy, each blow ringing out like thunder in the silent gym. She was only fifteen, but the fierce combat training required of her had made her stronger than many twice her age. For years, she had spent her days at school and her nights on the training grounds, driven by a burning desire to become a Sol Guardian like her idol Blaze.
-Every once in a while, she had to admit that it was nice to pop back over to Earth. It was quiet, grounded. Less exciting in some ways, but uniquely comforting in others. Lest she forget, a helpless little fox named Vultro also lived on Earth. There was no way that she was going to let him go more than a ''few'' days without checking on him.
+But despite her dedication to her craft, Raven still struggled with the weight of her own emotions. She had few friends in this life, so she very much cherished the bond she had formed with Vultro, a young fox who lived on Earth. Whenever she returned to Earth, she made a point to check on him... even if she tried to pretend that all that "emotion" stuff was beneath her.
-Though she liked to act tough and pretend that all that "emotion" stuff didn't matter, deep down she really valued the friendship she had with Vultro. She didn't have many friends in this life. Friendship was what made the sleepless nights of training worth it.
+When Vultro approached her with an idea that lit up his eyes like fireworks, Raven couldn't help but feel a flicker of excitement too. "I want to go to space!" Vultro exclaimed, bouncing up and down. "I want to build my own spaceship and explore the stars!"
-Vultro seemed unusually excited today as she strolled into his little cave. "Hey, Vultro. What's up?" she said as she sat on a large rock. "Well... I have an idea. A really cool idea." She braced herself for whatever he was about to reveal. "Hit me with it, bud." Vultro's wide and somewhat awkward smile grew. "I want to go to space!" Raven took a moment to process this statement. She cleared her throat. "Space? Like, outer space?" Vultro nodded. "Yeah!" He scurried over to her side. "I want to go to space, and I want to build my own spaceship too!" Despite wanting to roll her eyes, she just stared at Vultro and blinked. "Yeah... yeah, you should. Could be cool." She doubted if a thirteen-year-old could even draw a spaceship, let alone build one. Yet alone build a ''working'' one. But she would never shoot down something Vultro was this excited about, so she let it slide.
+Raven raised an eyebrow, skeptical but intrigued. "Space, huh?" she said. "That's pretty ambitious, even for you, bud."
-"I'm gonna go to Techtown, I'm gonna find an engineer, and I'm going to do it." Raven let out a chuckle. "Sounds great." Vultro smiled. "Yeah! I'm headed there this afternoon!" Raven returned his smile, something she was trying to be better about.
+But Vultro was undaunted. He talked excitedly about his plans to visit Techtown, find an engineer, and bring his dream to life. Raven listened with a mixture of amusement and concern, wondering if he was in over his head but unwilling to crush his spirit. She could only smile back, something she was working on doing more often.
 ''That was three years ago'', Raven thought to herself. She could not believe that she was now sitting on the very ship Vultro had dreamed of making that day. Not only that, but the damn thing was hurdling through space without a single problem... at least so far.
-"Alright guys. We should be arriving at Ethos within the hour!" Vultro said. Wreck sighed to himself. "Finally." Despite Vultro's giddiness, the voice was grating to his ears. "Frankie," he mumbles as he turns to his partner, "''Now'' will you tell me what I'm doing here?" Frankie chuckles. "Just a bit longer, sweetie." Wreck rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair, throwing his arms up behind his head.
+"Alrighty. We should be arriving at Ethos within the hour!" Vultro said over his shoulder. Raven looked over to see Wreck leaning back in his chair, throwing his arms up behind his head. "Finally," he mumbles. Frankie, who is sitting next to him, pats him on the leg affectionately.
-Cyncatia is standing next to Vultro, looking out the front window of the ship. Her triangular ears twitched as she stared out into the vast emptiness. Finally, Vultro's words register with her. "Vultro, didn't you just say we're almost there? At Ethos?" Vultro looks down at the dashboard, only to look up again in concern. He thumps on one of the radar displays with his finger. "What the..."
+Cyncatia is standing next to Vultro, looking out the front window of the ship. Her triangular cat ears twitched as she stared out into the vast emptiness. Finally, Vultro's words register with her. "Vultro, didn't you just say we're almost there? At Ethos?" Vultro looks down at the dashboard, only to look up again in concern. He thumps on one of the radar displays with his finger. "What the..."
 "What's going on?" she asks. Vultro points to the radar scanner. "The radar is saying Ethos is right there in front of us... but it's not. I looked away for a minute, now it's gone." Cyncatia stares at the radar for a moment. "How strange," she says. The ship begins to shake, and she looks back out the window. As if out of nowhere, the horizon is now completely filled by a strange-looking, green and brown planet. "Vultro!" she yells as a fireball begins to form around the ship.
-Raven, ears perked, jumps out of her chair. "Vultro, how did you miss that giant planet? It's a ''planet''!" Vultro is looking around frantically at his instruments. "It's not on the radar Raven, it wasn't even there a minute ago! Ask Cync!" Raven exchanged a concerned frown with Cync, who could only nod silently. Raven calmly turned back to her seat, throwing down her bag.
+Raven could feel her heart pounding in her chest as Vultro struggled to regain control of the ship, his hands flying over the controls. She leaps out of her seat and up to the cockpit. "Vultro, how did you miss that giant planet? It's a ''planet''!" Vultro continues to toggle switches in a vain attempt to regain control. "It's not on the radar Raven, it wasn't even there a minute ago! Ask Cync!" Raven exchanged a concerned frown with Cync, who could only nod. Raven calmly turned back to her seat, throwing down her bag and rummaging through it.
-She rummages around in the bag for a moment and looks up again. "Look, I have the Sol emeralds," she admits. "Tell me right now. Are we crashing?" Vultro continues to fiddle with the landing controls, trying to prepare the ship for a proper landing. "Vultro Zeridia!" she barks. "Tell. Me. Right. Now. Are we going to crash?" "Yes! I mean, probably!" he snaps back after a beat. "I can't get the landing sequence to activate!" he yells. Vultro shut his eyes, full of fear and regret for bringing his friends along to die. ''I guess this is it...'' he thinks as he awaits the inevitable.
+"We're going to crash, aren't we?" Raven asked, her voice steady despite the panic rising inside her. Vultro continues to fiddle with the landing controls, trying to prepare the ship for a proper landing. "Vultro Zeridia!" she barks. "Are we crashing?" "Yes! I mean, probably!" he snaps back after a beat. "I can't get the landing sequence to activate!" he yells. Raven shut her eyes, full of fear and regret for being so stupid as to bring the Emeralds along. ''I guess this is it...'' she thinks as she dives back into her seat and straps in.
 === Chapter 2 ===