Story
> You say "I need to find Mr. Stark."
"I need to find Mr. Stark," you say.
"To find Mr. Stark, you must first go to New York. Why are you looking for Mr. Stark?"
"I have information about the Infinity Stones."
> You drive to New York.
You arrive in New York City after a grueling six hour drive. You find a parking spot in front of the luxurious apartment building, and you head inside with the paramedic.
"Do you have an appointment?"
> You say "I'm here to see Mr. Stark. I have information about the Infinity Stones."
"I'm here to see Mr. Stark. I have information about the Infinity Stones," you say.
"Who are you, and how do you know this?
> You say "Vinny Scumbaggins. I just killed Julius Belmont."
"Vinny Scumbaggins. I just killed Julius Belmont," you say.
After a long pause, the receptionist gets up.
"Follow me."
You follow the receptionist through the hallways. After a few minutes, you reach a set of golden doors.
"This is Mr. Starks' office."
You follow her into a elevator, and up to the top floor. She knocks on the door, and enters after hearing a response. After a few minutes, she comes out and allows you to enter.
> You enter the office.
You enter the office. A man with a black leather jacket, black jeans, and a gray shirt stands up from his desk to greet you.
"Hello," he says. "I'm Tony Stark. You are?"
> You say "Um... you're not Tony."
"I'm not," he says with a chuckle. "You're smart. I can appreciate that."
"Who are you, then?
"Blaze. Johnny Blaze," he says.
"You're a ghost rider?" you ask.
"Yep."
> You say "Where's Mr. Stark?"
"He went out for a little bit. He said he might be gone for a while. So, what's this all about?"
"The Infinity Stones.
> You say "They're gone."
"What do you mean?"
"They're gone. Thanos got them all."
"Did you see this happen?"
"No. But I know he got them."
"How?
> You say "Julius Belmont told me."
"So he's dead?"
"Yeah."
"Are you sure he wasn't lying?
> You say "Can't we ask someone who has a stone? Like Stephen Strange? He would know if the Time Stone went missing."
"Yeah, I suppose... hold on," Johnny says, taking out his phone. He scrolls through it for a bit, before putting it away.
"Bad connection," he says. "Let's go."
"Where?" you ask.
"New York."
"Why?"
"Stephen's there. We'll go to the sanctum and ask him."
"Why can't we ask him over the phone? Or, rather, you could. I'm not even sure where the Sanctum Sanctorum is."
"Bleecker Street. Now let's go."
You follow Johnny out of the building and over to his motorcycle. He motions for you to get on the back.
"Hang on tight, it'll be a tad bit bumpy," he says.
He guns the engine, and you head off onto the road. You hold on to Johnny for dear life as the ride gets wild, making turns and even doubling back once. Eventually, you pull up to a building that looks as if it's falling apart.
"We're here," Johnny says.
The pair of you get off the motorcycle, and head through the front door. You walk into a lobby covered with graffiti and trash. A scarred man sits in a chair, snoring.
Johnny walks up to the man and shakes his shoulder.
"Doc? Strange?"
The doctor opens his eyes and stares at Johnny.
"What? Who are you?"
"Johnny Blaze."
"Blaze? It's two in the morning. What do you want?"
"It's about Tony. And the Infinity Stones."
Strange sighs and stands up, motioning for you to follow him. He leads you through a set of doors and into a massive room covered with bookshelves.
"What do you want to know?" he asks.
"Have you seen any of the Infinity Stones recently?"
"You mean since Thanos came to New York?"
"Yeah," you ask.
"No, I haven't. I assume they're all with him."
"Thanks for your time, Doc," Johnny says, shaking Strange's hand and leaving the room.
> You say "Johnny, what the fuck? We just got here. Where are you going?"
"I'm getting the hell out of here," Johnny says. "This man is fucking creepy."
"Isn't he your friend?"
"No. Not really. He just... Look, let's go."
You ignore Johnny and go back to the room with Strange. He looks surprised to see you.
"Didn't think you'd come back in here," he says with a chuckle.
You walk up to the strange man and look him directly in the eyes.
> You say "So you're Doctor Stephen Strange? Master of the mystic arts?"
"That's me. I'm the Sorcerer Supreme. Who are you?"
"I'm Vinny Scumbaggins. I have crucial information about the Infinity Stones."
"Is that right?" Strange asks.
"Yeah. They're all gone."
"Gone? What do you mean, gone?"
"Julius Belmont destroyed them."
"Wait, the Vampire Hunter? That's a bold claim to make."
"Do you have the Time Stone right now?" you ask.
Strange looks at you, then breaks into a smile.
"Yes, I do," he says. "I'll prove it to you."
The room dissolves, and suddenly you're standing in the middle of a blank, white void.
"What the fuck?" you say.
"This is the Room of Perfect Silence," Strange says. "It's for... uh... for people like you."
You look at your hands and open your mouth. There's no sound whatsoever.
"Sorry, but I can't just show any old person that walks in an Infinity Stone. Excuse me for these precautions."
A crystal ball materializes in front of you. You look into it, and see a black hole devouring the entire universe.
"This is the future of the universe if the Stones aren't brought together."
You watch in horror as planets, stars, the Galactic Core and everything else is wiped out and destroyed.
Which is why I must keep the Time Stone protected at all costs.
He motions his hands and his large necklace opens up, revealing an empty space inside it.
Strange freezes in silence. You open your mouth to speak, only to realize there's no sound. You raise your hands to ask a question, and Strange raises his own hand.
Suddenly, you are both back in the study.
"The Time Stone is gone," Strange said. "You were right."
"Is that destruction... is that what will happen?" he asks.
"It's not certain," you reply. "But it might be."
Without another word, Strange leaves his study and goes upstairs.
> You follow and ask what he's doing.
You follow Strange upstairs, where he sits in a chair beside his fireplace. He grabs a book from off the shelf and begins reading it.
> You say "What are you doing?"
Strange looks up from his book and stares at you, not saying a word.
"What are you doing?" he finally asks.
"Because to me it looks like you're clouding my thinking space," he says.
"What the fuck does that mean?"
Strange sighs.
"I'm researching," he says. "I'm trying to figure out what is happening in the world at this current moment.
You continue staring at Strange, who stares back. Neither of you say a word.
You say "I think Tony Stark can help us."
Strange grabs a pad and paper off his desk and begins writing something down.
"That's a good idea," he says. "Make the call."
> You call the number on the paper.
A minute later, you hear a loud buzz.
"I'm sorry," JARVIS says through the intercom. "But Mr. Stark is in a meeting right now."
"Well uninvite him."
> You say "I'm here with Dr. Stephen Strange, this is about the Infinity Stones. About Thanos."
There's a pause.
"I'll put you through," JARVIS replies.
The line goes quiet and you can hear the faint sound of music. After a few rings, a voice answers.
"Hey Natasha, what's-"
"Doctor Strange and I need your help with something," you say quickly.
"Shit, really?"
"And who is this again? Pizza guy? Rogers, I swear to god if you--"
"TONY!" you yell. "This is serious. The stones are gone."
"The who?"
"Infinity Stones. Thanos has them. We need your help."
There's silence on the other end of the phone.
"Hello?"
"Yeah I'm here," Tony says.
> You say "We're at the sanctum."
"Give me an hour," he replies, and hangs up.
You sit down next to Strange, who looks at you nervously.
"He's coming?" he asks nervously.
You nod. He sighs, and turns back to his book. The two of you wait in silence for an hour, at which point there is a knock at the door. You stand and walk towards it, opening it.
You see a middle aged man with spiky, brown hair and a very expensive looking pair of glasses standing there. There is a triangular light coming from his chest and he smirks when he sees Strange standing next to you.
"I feel like I should be asking which one of you is Mr. Fantastic and which one is the giant blond guy," he says, walking in. You close the door behind him.
Strange does not seem amused. "Tony this is not the time for your bullshitting."
The man, Tony, turns to you.
"No, it looks like you've already bullshitted enough for the both of us."
"Who are you?" you ask.
"I'm Iron Man," he says. You giving tours now, Strange?
Strange grabs Tony by the collar. "Tony. The universe is in danger. Real danger."
"You don't need to tell me, I got my eyes and ears on everything," he replies, pushing Strange's hands off of him.
"Well how about you grow up and actually help us out?" Strange says.
"How?"
"By creating something that can fight the things that are coming. Unless you've grown out of your childish need to show off all your technology."
"I have a better idea," Stark says. "Why don't we just go back in time and steal the stones," he says jokingly.
You pause, as that doesn't actually sound like a bad idea.
"So, are we going back in time or what?" you say.
"I'm sorry, we can't," Strange says. "The Time Stone is gone."
"What about Scott?" Tony asks.
"Who?"
"Scott Lang."
"Who the fuck is he?"
"He's a kid we recruited a few years ago. Elementary school teacher by day, Ant-Man by night. He had a suit that was way better than Hank's."
"The quantum realm," Strange said. "We can go to an alternate dimension where we never lost the stone, but..."
"But?"
"It's extremely dangerous. The trip can... alter your mind. If you're going, you need to understand that you might not come back the same."
"What, you're saying I might come back as an old man?" you ask.
"I'm saying you might not come back at all."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take,"
Stark smiles. "I like this kid."
You look at the two of them. "Let's do it."
"I'll need a drop of your blood then," Strange says, pulling out a needle.
"Cool," you say. "Do you want me to stick my arm out or something?"
"Or something," he says as he stabs you in the ass.
"Ah!" you exclaim.
"Stop being a baby," Stark says.
Strange pulls the needle out, putting the vial of blood into a machine he's plugged his lighter into.
"Alright," he says. "This might hurt. A lot."
"Go big or go home," you reply.
He opens a portal about the size of a basketball.
> You kick Tony in the nuts.
"Ah, nutbust..." he starts to say, before you boot him right in the balls.
"Oof!" he groans, falling to the floor.
Strange looks at you with bewilderment. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"I don't trust him," you say simply, as Strange smiles.
"Good answer."
He picks up a sword and slices his ass cheek, then holds it over the portal.
"What's happening?" you ask.
"I'm opening a portal to an alternate dimension," he explains.
"But why did you slice your ass?"
"One of the requirements to opening the portal is sacrificing something of emotional value."
> You say "Your ass has emotional value?"
"Yeah," Strange says. "It does."
"..." you say, not sure how to respond to that.
"Alright," he says. "We're in."
You look at the portal, which shows the quantum realm. It's swirling with color and light, far more active that anything you've ever seen, and just looking at it makes your brain freeze.
> You try to swallow your knife.
You put your head down and try to swallow the knife. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite fit in your throat, and you choke on it, before hacking it up and spitting it onto the ground.
Strange stops and stares at you. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"I was trying to swallow a knife," you say.
"There's no time for your stupid ideas," he says, flinging the portal shut. "Look, maybe this isn't for you. I'll just close the portal."
"No!" you protest, as he closes it. "I wanna go again!"
"This dimension could be gone any minute,"
"Why the fuck are you wasting time kicking Tony in the nuts and swallowing knives?"
"I told you, I wanna go again!"
Strange sighs and rolls his eyes. He grabs the needle and pricks your ass cheek. "I'm sacrificing the pleasure I get from sex," he says. "Now, come on."
"I'm ready," you say.
The portal is opened once again, and you enter the portal.
> You drag Tony in the portal despite Strange's objections.
"Come on, Tony!" you yell, grabbing him and pulling him into the portal.
"Fuck, fine," Strange replies, before punching him in the throat. "Idiot."
"What was that for?"
"I'm sacrificing the chance that one day, I might actually get laid," he says.
You enter the portal with Stark, and you almost collapse.
Tony sits up and rubs his throat. "Fuck! What the fuck did you do that for, Stephen?"
"He's gone. We're through the portal."
"What?"
You hear a laugh, and you see the silhouette of a man. It's hard to make out his face, considering it's black and vague, but you know the voice anywhere.
> You say "Stark?"
"Yes," the man says. "Welcome to the future."
"What... what happened?" you ask.
"The end of the world, honey," the man says. "The end of the world."
> You realize that it is a future version of Tony Stark standing before you.
"What happened?" you ask.
> You say "We were supposed to go to the past."
"Yeah, right. It didn't work," the old man says. "We went as far back as we could, but... the world was already gone. We couldn't do anything meaningful."
The younger Tony grabs his testicles, still in pain.
Future Stark smiles. "You'll never have kids now, sport."
"Fuck you... you ruined my life!"
The future Stark laughs. "You had a great life! You were a hero! You had everything!"
"I had Pepper," Tony says.
"Pepper died," the future Stark says. "You know that, I know that. We went to her funeral."
"Fuck you," the younger Tony says, over and over again.
> You say "Is Strange alive?"
"Yes," the future Stark says. "But we had a massive argument, and then he left us. He went traveling to the orient or somewhere. He was upset that we didn't go back further.
> You say "Kathmandu..."
"Yeah, that's it," the future Stark says.
> You angrily crush Stark's balls.
"Ugh, fuck! Why did you do that?" the future Stark asks, before falling to the ground and screaming.
The young Tony laughs. "He's got balls, I'll give him that. We don't."
The future Stark gets up. "Okay, listen, you've seen the future, now leave."
"What?" you ask.
"Leave. Fuck off. Go."
"Why?"
"I just saw the happiest I am, and it's not with you. So fuck off."
You stare at him angrily, and then walk towards the portal back to the past.
On the floor, you notice a small device. You crouch down and read the label on its side: "Jay Leno Device."
"What's this?" you ask.
"Nothing," the future Stark says.
You pick up the device and push the red button. A bright, blue light emerges from it, and you are sent back in time...
You find yourself in the middle of the road. A car screeches to a halt not a meter from your position.
You quickly stand up and find yourself staring at the same road as before. You notice a man standing a few meters away from you. It's Jay Leno. You realize that you're holding the device in your hand.
"Son, is everything okay?" Leno asks.
You stare at him, trying to decide what to do.
> You say "Jay, I messed up the entire canon with my story. It's ruined."
"Uh, sure kid. You having mental issues or something?" he asks.
"You know what I'm talking about, Jay." You show him the device you picked up.
His eyes widen. "Woah... where did you find that?"
"In the middle of the road. I pressed the button and was sent back in time."
> You say "I messed up the entire story, Jay. Help me."
"Uh, okay kid. Where are we?"
"We're in the middle of a Castlevania and Marvel self-insertion fanfiction."
"Oh boy, this is gonna be weird."
"You have no idea, Jay..."
"Kid, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about."
"Would you just stop the facade and help me reset the story?"
"If you say so." He snaps his fingers, and a portal opens up. "After you."
You look inside the portal and see an endless void. You enter it.
You are back in your room, where you first decided to start hunting vampires at the very beginning of this story.
You sit up on your bed and take out your laptop. You launch the story files and open up a new text document.
"So... where are we starting off?" Jay asks.
"Right here," you say as you start typing out your new story. "The Fall of the Belmonts."
"Written by Vinny Scumbaggins and Jay Leno."
THE END