Planet Eilaela (story): Difference between revisions

Planet Eilaela (story) (view source)

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 ==='''Chapter 1 - Prolouge'''===
-The story begins on a spaceship, where we see <span style="color:#A89070;">Vultro</span>, <span style="color:#0000FF;">RavenCool</span>, <span style="color:#FF4500;">Wreck,</span> <span style="color:#8e0000;">Frankie,</span> <span style="color:#654321;">Tracker,</span> <span style="color:#B2B200;">Shift,</span> <span style="color:#a8a8a8;">Jenny,</span> <span style="color:#006400;">Terry,</span> and <span style="color:#a97c00;">Lightning</span>.
+The story begins on a spaceship, where we see Vultro, RavenCool, Wreck, Frankie, Tracker, Shift, Jenny, Terry, and Lightning. Vultro looks at the crew with excitement. "Alright guys, we should be arriving on Ethos any minute now!" Wreck looks over at Vultro, then at Frankie, looking annoyed at Vultro's optimism. "Ugh, why exactly am I here again Frankie?" Frankie smiles. "It's a surprise! Don't you worry!"
-Vultro: Alright guys, we should be arriving on Ethos any minute now!
+Shift walks over to Vultro, taking a look out the window of the ship. "Hey Vultro, where are we anyway?" "I just told you guys, we're.... uh oh. That's not good..." Vultro looks down at the dashboard, seeing something that turns his expression to that of major concern. "What? What's not good?" Frankie asks. Vultro points to the radar scanner, which shows an uncharted planet rapidly approaching. "We're heading straight for a nearby planet, and it's most certainly NOT Ethos."
-Wreck: Ugh, why exactly am I here again Frankie?
-Frankie: It's a surprise! Don't you worry!
-Shift: Hey Vultro, where are we anyway?
-Vultro: I just told yo guys, we're.... uh oh. That's not good...
-Frankie: What? What's not good?
-Vultro: We're heading straight for a nearby planet, and it's most certainly NOT Ethos.
 Lighting: *snoring*
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 Vultro: Guys, we need to find everyone RIGHT NOW! Let's split up. Shift, Wreck, come with me. Jenny, Terry, go with Lightning.
-==='''Chapter 2 - The Bad Guys'''===
+==='''Chapter 2 - Hidden in the Shadows'''===
-RavenCool is tied up in a corner of the cave, and is just beginning to regain consciousness.
+RavenCool is tied up in a corner of the cave, and is just beginning to regain consciousness. An unknown figure is standing next to her.
 ???: Now I'll just be taking these Sol Emeralds, thank you!
@@ Line 263: / Line 251: @@
 Metal RavenCool: Quiet, you flying furball! These Sol Emeralds could be of some use, even in part. I can use their energy to amplify the effects of the Shoten crystal!
-Suddenly, a loud rumbling occurs. T the orange glow of lava lights up the cave as it starts to seep from the ceiling.
+Suddenly, a loud rumbling occurs. The orange glow of lava lights up the cave as it starts to seep from the ceiling.
 RavenCool: Uh.... can we please go somewhere other than here?
-A voice comes from near RavenCool.
+A menacing voice comes from near RavenCool.
 ???: Grrr! Silence! Metal, help me create my lava protective form.
@@ Line 285: / Line 273: @@
 Lighting: Hey, give us back RavenCool, Metal!
-Vultro then looks over at Metal RavenCool's sash, in which she has placed the six Sol Emeralds. The center is studded with a mysterious, lime-green crystal.
+Vultro then looks over at Metal RavenCool's sash, in which she has placed the six Sol Emeralds. The center is studded with a mysterious, lime-green crystal with a web of blue crystals running throughout it. He leans over to Lightning.
 Vultro: Hey, Lightning.... what's that thing Metal's got? On her sash? It looks like some sort of crystal, but I've never seen one of that shape before.
-Mist: Oh… heh heh! The tiny little fox wants the Shoten crystal! Wellllll, let me think…NO!
+Mist: Oh… heh heh! The tiny little fox wants the Shoten crystal! Well, let me think…NO!
-Terry also decides to step forward, revealing himself.
+Terry also decides to step forward, revealing himself to the two villains.
 Terry: Oi, you lot! Give us the bloody crystal!
-Mist and Metal sneer at the beaver, finding his demand pathetic. Mist suddenly transforms into a beaver almost exactly matching Terry.
+Mist and Metal sneer at the beaver, finding his accent laughable. Mist suddenly transforms into a beaver almost exactly matching Terry.
-Mist: "''Oi, mates! Gimme the bloody Shoten crystal before I get proper maaaad!" ''
+Mist: "''Oi, mates! Gimme the bloody crystal before I get right maaaad!" ''
 Mist starts to laugh manically, causing Metal to pause and stifle a laugh. Mist then looks up at Metal, and stops laughing.
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 Lighting: Guys, we should look for our friends. They could be hurt! RavenCool, please be okay...
-==='''Chapter 3 - Trapped in Isolation'''===
+==='''Chapter 3 - The Escape'''===
 RavenCool and Vultro are in a small room, with bare walls and only a tiny opening serving as a window. RavenCool is pounding on the walls furiously. She roars loudly.
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 ...
-RavenCool plants her feet, and aims her hands at Vultro. She takes a deep breath.
+Vultro grabs Jenny's hand, and places his other hand on the Shoten crystal. A flash fills the air as the two foxes transform. Vultro and Jenny are now floating high in the sky, both glowing a bright purple.
+Jenny: Oh my god, Vultro... I can't believe this is happening!
+Vultro looks down towards RavenCool. RavenCool plants her feet, and aims her hands at Vultro. She takes a deep breath.
 Vultro: DO IT NOW, RAVEN!!
-RavenCool juts her hands forward, sending a rainbow-colored beam into Vultro. His veins begin to glow the colors of the seven emeralds. Vultro yells out in pain, as does RavenCool.
+RavenCool juts her hands forward, and the seven Sol Emeralds start to glow. She transforms, taking on a blazing red aura and turning her fur a similar shade. Suddenly, a rainbow-colored beam shoots from her hands into Vultro and Jenny. Their veins begin to glow the colors of the seven Sol emeralds. All three begin to yell out in pain.
-Vultro: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
+There is an explosion of light and energy, knocking up a cloud of dust. As the dust settles, Vultro and Jenny are now flashing a bright rainbow color. They appear to be vibrating in place from the immense energy.
-There is an explosion of light and energy. As the dust settles, Vultro is flashing a bright rainbow color.
 RavenCool: AHHH! This REALLY hurts. I don't know how long I can hold it.
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 Vultro: Don't worry Raven, this shouldn't take long!
-Solidus turns to throw his dagger at RavenCool.
+Jenny: What do we do now?
+Vultro: Go for his heart, Jenny!
+Solidus snarls, and looks over at RavenCool. He realizes she is diverting all of her energy towards the foxes, and turns to throw his dagger at the now vulnerable wolf.
-As Vultro starts to move towards Solidus, time appears to slow to a near halt around him. Solidus has his hand outstretched, his blade seeming to defy gravity as it floats halfway in between him and RavenCool. RavenCool's energy beam is moving at a snail's pace toward himself, but it appears as if she is very slowly turning the beam towards the blade. Wreck is mid stride as he appears to be running towards RavenCool to help. Vultro notices an afterimage of himself being left behind as he flies through the air, realizing he must be traveling at an incredible speed.
+As the two foxes start to move towards Solidus, time appears to slow to a near halt around them. Solidus has his hand outstretched, his blade seeming to defy gravity as it floats halfway in between him and RavenCool. RavenCool's energy beam is moving at a snail's pace toward them, and it appears as if she is very slowly turning the beam towards the blade. Wreck is mid stride as he appears to be running towards RavenCool to help. Vultro notices an afterimage of themselves being left behind as they fly through the air, realizing they must be traveling at an incredible speed.
-Vultro turns back forward and heads straight for Solidus' chest. As he reaches him, it appears that he has passed right through him as others had before. Vultro lands on the ground behind Solidus, turning around to see how he possibly could have dodged the blow. As he turns to face him, however, he notices a Vultro-sized hole in his chest, as a series of cracks begin to very slowly web out into Solidus' body. There are shards suspended in the air behind him, slowly moving towards Vultro as they fly away.
+Vultro turns back forward and is heading straight for Solidus' chest. He looks at Jenny, and sees she is intensely focused, her eyes locked ahead of her. He turns back forward. As they reaches him, it appears that they pass right through him, as others had before. Vultro and Jenny land on the ground behind Solidus, as the dirt ever so slowly begins to explode upwards from the impact. Vultro turns around to see how he possibly could have dodged the blow. As he turns to face him, however, he notices a hole in Solidus's chest, as a series of cracks beginning to very slowly web out into his body. There are shards suspended in the air behind him, slowly moving towards them.
-The beam is moving toward the blade, but not nearly fast enough. He starts to run towards the blade, but it is too late. The beam disconnects from Vultro and in an instant, time reverts back to normal. Solidus suddenly shatters as if made of glass, scattering into a million tiny shards. Before Vultro can react, RavenCool is hit directly in the stomach by the blade. Her roars suddenly stop. She looks down at the blade, then over to Vultro, falling to the ground.
+RavenCool's beam is moving toward the blade, but not nearly fast enough. Vultro lets go of Jenny and starts to run towards the blade, but it is too late. The beam disconnects from them and in an instant, time reverts back to normal. Solidus suddenly shatters as if made of glass, scattering into a million tiny shards. Before anyone can react, RavenCool is hit directly in the stomach by the blade. Her roars suddenly stop. She looks down at the blade, then over to Vultro, falling to the ground. Her aura disappears and her fur returns to its normal color.
 ...
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 Vultro grabs on to RavenCool's paw, reaching out to Jenny. Jenny grabs on, as does Lightning, Shift, Terry, Tracker, and Frankie. Frankie reaches out to Wreck, smiling at him.
-Frankie: You can do it, I believe in you.
+Frankie: You can do it sweetie, I believe in you.
 Wreck grabs Frankie's hand, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He feels... something. But he's not sure what it is. He focuses, and pictures the rolling hills of South Island back on Mobius. He opens his eyes and looks at Frankie, and smiles. Closing his eyes again, he yells out the words.