Planet Eilaela (story): Difference between revisions

Planet Eilaela (story) (view source)

138 bytes added , 23 August 2018

1,970

edits

@@ Line 635: / Line 635: @@
 Penny: How can there be ice so close to that fire? How is there even ice in a climate like this!?
-Suddenly, they notice a blue figure standing about 20 feet away, who is facing away from them. It appears to have droopy quills, two of which are pointing sideways.
+Shift transforms back into her natural form. Suddenly, they notice a blue figure standing about 20 feet away, who is facing away from them. It appears to have droopy quills, two of which are pointing sideways.
-Penny: Hey! You! Did you do this?
+Penny: Hey! Did you do all this?
-The figure turns around, revealing itself to be a tall blue hedgehog. There is rage in his eyes, and his fists are clenched tightly.
+The figure turns around, revealing itself to be a tall blue hedgehog.
-(Perhaps here Crys can attack the group only for Mac to jump in and start fighting. Just an idea. - Leif)
+"Hand over all of your materials," he says, his hands at his sheath, which seems to be holding a rapier. "Or I'll have to take them more forcefully."
-(Sure! -Max)
+Shimm rolls his eyes. "Hey buddy, we don't have anything worth taking! Relax." Shift takes a step forward towards the hedgehog, and puts her hand out to signal to Shimm to cut it out. "Listen, we don't want any more trouble. It's been a long day for all of us," she explains.
-"Hand over all of your materials," he says, his hands at his sheath, which seems to be holding a rapier. "Or I'll have to take them more forcefully."
 ...